When reflecting on my own journey through trauma, I realised that when things got tough I would feel really resistant to people trying to tell me what I should do to help myself.
They didn’t seem to understand that the traditional modalities I had tried at the time just didn't fit.
I couldn’t gather my thoughts or my words and struggled to string sentences together in some moments.
At the time I didn’t feel ready to open myself up and allow someone in to see my pain.
I was yearning for a more gentle approach.
I felt the need to take smaller steps to feel a little better each day, and that would allow me to stay within my little cocoon for as long and often as I needed.
I knew I needed to find someone to help me that would understand what I was feeling and share their strength, but without placing more pressure on me.
I could feel the answers stirring inside of me, but couldn’t access them no matter how hard I tried.
And then, when I met the woman who helped me on my healing journey, it was like she was a long-lost friend. The union felt so right. She provided support and reassurance so that I could start gaining control of my life again, one step at a time.
The more time I devoted to finding my own way to heal, I realised and began to feel the power of showing up for myself.
I began to crave alone time each day, to sit down and feel into what I wanted and was able to explore different self care techniques that would bring me the moments of peace I was craving.
When I listened to my intuition, I felt less overwhelmed and confused.
I stopped reaching outside of myself for the answers and started working on listening to my heart. I wanted to strengthen this muscle so it would become part of my everyday life and routine, rather than feeling like my self-care was just another chore.
When I allocated this time, I felt a warmth around me and a strong sense that things would be ok.
My mind questioned this, as I’d never felt so broken open and raw, but I chose to trust in that and began to believe it.
I had stopped living and it was time to accept that I deserved more.
I found practices that really soothed me and took each day at a time.
My thoughts were moving from self-sabotage to supportive, and my need to control everything slowed down. I could feel parts of me stirring that I had hidden away.
And I felt ready to open them up again.
I didn’t know how my healing journey would actually look, but I was gaining self-trust again and that felt amazing.
Eventually, life felt easier again. I knew that if I just kept taking small steps every day those habits would become who I am. I felt inspired so wrote a list of what resonated with me. And I felt comfort in knowing that I was able to choose what was best for me.
I learned to meditate and did this every day.
It was time I took to connect with my body and allow it to communicate with me.
It had been a long time since I had spent time with myself to really listen.
I loved this feeling of reconnecting with myself. I could feel the progress I was making.
I learned that I had to be kind to myself and give myself praise for even trying on those days when I could have easily slipped back into my old habits and just stayed in bed.
Healing is a journey and as far as I can see it never really ends, but you can improve the way you navigate the twists and turns.
Learning how to discern and be clear on where you focus your energy and attention on those more difficult days also helps so much.
The journey of self-discovery and alignment is not an easy one, you will need to be prepared to dig deep and get your hands dirty. This is going to be work but of the good kind, and in bite-size pieces, so you can prioritize adding the steps into your day. And the more you practice, the easier it will become.
What I can promise you, is when you come out the other side you will have stripped away your old version, and will literally feel like you are looking through new eyes.
And the future will look brighter than you ever thought possible.
There are many things we can do to support that reconnection, simple modalities we can incorporate into our day to begin to remember how strong we are, and how we can depend on ourselves at all times, in all challenges.
If you would like guidance on where to begin, and to walk this path feeling deeply supported, please reach out.
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